To learn more about how much (or how little) you think you deserve, here are a few questions to answer. (Scoring is at the bottom of this section.)
1. When offered a sumptuous dessert after a great meal in your honor, you
a) insist you’re full, even if you’re not. (All the while watching everyone else eat it, wishing you’d said yes.)
b) sit in tortured indecision about the dessert, until you finally pass it up because that’s what everyone else is doing. (Later, you think about it with a pang.)
c) decide the diet can go just this once and dig in, gratefully, knowing you can work off the calories with extra exercise tomorrow.
d) automatically decide that since you never eat dessert (even though you love it), you’ll miss this one, too.
2. You tend to earn
a) just enough money to eke out a living, though you do rack up regular credit card debt
b) more money than you need … but you spend more than you should, so you end up with little at month’s end
c) adequate money for your needs, savings, investments, etc.
d) less than you’d like, but not dramatically so. At least some savings programs, etc. are in place
3. When it comes to finishing your creative projects, you tend to
a) work on them endlessly without the satisfaction of completion. (Darn things are never quite good enough.)
b) throw away or drop most every project you start. (Whom are you kidding, anyway?)
c) push through to the bitter end, even when the going is tough. You’ve even mustered up the courage to submit some of your work to professional venues.
d) always back off near the end, leaving the work hanging, unfinished. But you WILL get to it someday. Hopefully.
4. Your friends tend to be
a) few and far between. (Nobody really understands you.)
b) a competitive bunch with whom you’re afraid to share your most vulnerable feelings, dreams, etc. (You’d never ask them for support!)
c) honest to God allies full of support for your creative dreams and projects. You feel blessed.
d) divided between those who are critical and those who are soundly in your corner. Sometimes it seems the nay sayers win out.
5. When it comes to your dreams in life, your spouse or partner is usually
a) annoyed most of the time, so you don’t mention them much
b) closed mouth, but not vocally protesting all the time, either
c) squarely in your corner, taking actions that actively support your dream
d) worried you’re going to ‘take the leap’ and change your life so radically they can’t keep up or adjust. But you haven’t really talked about it with them in earnest.
6. Your day job or main source of income is
a) best described as toxic … and there appears to be no way out
b) barely tolerable, but at least provides some pretty good money
c) a workable fit for your dreams right now, though it may change in the future
d) something you really have to change, but not until you’re ready which isn’t quite yet
Scoring:
If you answered mostly a) or b), you’re probably putting up with a whole lot of ‘tolerations’ as the late coaching guru Thomas Leonard put it. Perhaps it’s time to redesign your life to really put some commitment into living your dream.
If you answered mostly c) you’ve already decided you deserve a lot and have set up your life accordingly. Good for you!
If you answered mostly d), you’re on your way to a sense of deserving more, but still need to work on it.
Wherever you fall on the spectrum, believe it when we tell you …. You ARE
worth it!
Monday, November 26, 2007
Friday, November 23, 2007
Avoid Creative Anorexia
Imagine the next time you join a discussion about Anorexia. When you start sharing the fascinating Anorexia facts below, your friends will be absolutely amazed.
Do you really believe you can have what you want? Or do you tend to operate with your feet in two camps one that says, 'I'm going out there and pursue my dream' and another that says, 'I'll also hedge my bets by doing something I don't love that much, just in case the dream thing doesn't work out.' This is what Persephone Zill, a coach I’ve worked with, would call "indirectness" and I’m here to say that it doesn't work.
I've spent a lot of time in life hedging my bets under the mistaken illusion that this is mature, business like behavior. The real irony is that seldom have these supposedly businesslike ideas ever produced income or other results that I thought for sure they would. The urge to hedge your bets often runs contrary to everything your gut instincts scream at you to do. For instance, say you want to be a teacher. Your instinct says 'Quit the job! Go get licensed! Be a teacher kids never forget!"
Meanwhile, you hedge your bets by dedicating most of your energy to work that doesn't feed your soul, and taking a course here and there that never really moves you any closer to the dream. You justify your lack of action by insisting you can't afford to quit or alter your job, or deciding you don't want to change your lifestyle and live on a teacher's salary. And yet ... what do you want?
So far, we've uncovered some interesting facts about Anorexia. You may decide that the following information is even more interesting.
Do you want the excuses, or do you want the results? Do you want a life that's halfway, but never all the way, to the dream? For a lot of us, the excuses, and the half-baked life are all we think we deserve. We don't focus on getting what we want because somewhere along the way, we decided we don't deserve that much happiness and fulfillment. I trace my own inclination to think that way back to a pivotal lunch with my mother back in my senior year in high school, when she asked me what I wanted to do with my life. As I was about to answer, 'Be a singer or a writer,' she pointed a finger at me and announced triumphantly, 'Communications! You're going to be GREAT in communications!" Whereupon I promptly burst into tears, and went on to spend 18 years in advertising, 'communicating' and hating myself all the while.
Seeds get planted that should not have been allowed to grow; ideas get listened to that should have been ignored. We cast about looking for anyone else but ourselves to give us direction and yet, WE are the only ones who can give us the permission to really, truly, honestly create what we want in life. We can do what we want, but only if we are brave enough to seize the initiative even if it means not listening to Mom and going it alone. The urge not to provide ourselves with what we need in life is a sort of creative anorexia, deprivation that is all about a distorted picture of who we are and what we deserve. The real irony is that seldom do the contingency plans and hedged bets work out. During my entire career in advertising I never made half the salary that my other, more eager coworkers made. The simple fact was that I didn't want to be there, nor should I have been. Consequently, I couldn’t produce the results that were expected of me.
Perhaps the road to what you want won't be fast, easy or lined with gold, but it will be one hundred percent honest. And that provides riches you can't even begin to count. So get out there, make a transitional plan you can stick to, and begin to do what you want. I'm here to say that you do, indeed, deserve it.
Now you can understand why there's a growing interest in Anorexia. When people start looking for more information about Anorexia, you'll be in a position to meet their needs.
Do you really believe you can have what you want? Or do you tend to operate with your feet in two camps one that says, 'I'm going out there and pursue my dream' and another that says, 'I'll also hedge my bets by doing something I don't love that much, just in case the dream thing doesn't work out.' This is what Persephone Zill, a coach I’ve worked with, would call "indirectness" and I’m here to say that it doesn't work.
I've spent a lot of time in life hedging my bets under the mistaken illusion that this is mature, business like behavior. The real irony is that seldom have these supposedly businesslike ideas ever produced income or other results that I thought for sure they would. The urge to hedge your bets often runs contrary to everything your gut instincts scream at you to do. For instance, say you want to be a teacher. Your instinct says 'Quit the job! Go get licensed! Be a teacher kids never forget!"
Meanwhile, you hedge your bets by dedicating most of your energy to work that doesn't feed your soul, and taking a course here and there that never really moves you any closer to the dream. You justify your lack of action by insisting you can't afford to quit or alter your job, or deciding you don't want to change your lifestyle and live on a teacher's salary. And yet ... what do you want?
So far, we've uncovered some interesting facts about Anorexia. You may decide that the following information is even more interesting.
Do you want the excuses, or do you want the results? Do you want a life that's halfway, but never all the way, to the dream? For a lot of us, the excuses, and the half-baked life are all we think we deserve. We don't focus on getting what we want because somewhere along the way, we decided we don't deserve that much happiness and fulfillment. I trace my own inclination to think that way back to a pivotal lunch with my mother back in my senior year in high school, when she asked me what I wanted to do with my life. As I was about to answer, 'Be a singer or a writer,' she pointed a finger at me and announced triumphantly, 'Communications! You're going to be GREAT in communications!" Whereupon I promptly burst into tears, and went on to spend 18 years in advertising, 'communicating' and hating myself all the while.
Seeds get planted that should not have been allowed to grow; ideas get listened to that should have been ignored. We cast about looking for anyone else but ourselves to give us direction and yet, WE are the only ones who can give us the permission to really, truly, honestly create what we want in life. We can do what we want, but only if we are brave enough to seize the initiative even if it means not listening to Mom and going it alone. The urge not to provide ourselves with what we need in life is a sort of creative anorexia, deprivation that is all about a distorted picture of who we are and what we deserve. The real irony is that seldom do the contingency plans and hedged bets work out. During my entire career in advertising I never made half the salary that my other, more eager coworkers made. The simple fact was that I didn't want to be there, nor should I have been. Consequently, I couldn’t produce the results that were expected of me.
Perhaps the road to what you want won't be fast, easy or lined with gold, but it will be one hundred percent honest. And that provides riches you can't even begin to count. So get out there, make a transitional plan you can stick to, and begin to do what you want. I'm here to say that you do, indeed, deserve it.
Now you can understand why there's a growing interest in Anorexia. When people start looking for more information about Anorexia, you'll be in a position to meet their needs.
A Great Way to Cut Expenses
Imagine the next time you join a discussion about cut expenses. When you start sharing the fascinating cut expenses facts below, your friends will be absolutely amazed.
One of the biggest challenges creative dreamers face when it’s time to make their dream their livelihood is regulating cash flow. Typically we have lots of new business expenses, without enough income to meet them. One easy solution is to spend less something many of us in the US, at least, find hard to do. And yet, it must be done. If that’s you, read on; I think I’ve stumbled upon a great solution.
Recently, I decided to tighten my belt and start spending carefully for a change. Which for a relaxed, what the heck spender like myself was the equivalent to going into the desert for 40 days and 40 nights. In the past, such measures always dissolved in a puddle of good intentions. Even though I knew this was important and good to do… I just couldn’t stick with the program. But this time, I’ve found a trick that works.
The first month, I simply tracked my expenses on two file cards in my wallet (one for business, one for personal.) Then last month, I paid my regular bills by check as usual. I also determined just how much cash I needed to live on each week, based on my previous tracking, and withdrew such from the bank on an appointed, regular day: Wednesday. I also parked my credit card and my debit card in my desk drawer, so they’d be out of circulation. Then I carefully monitored as I spent.
As the month wore on, the cash ebbed and flowed. Some weeks I spent less than my weekly sum; some weeks I spent more. And now, at month’s end, I found I actually kept to my budget quite well – and can donate the rest towards savings and my business. The reason this works, I think, is because parking the plastic and paying cash is radical. Initially, I was pretty sure it wouldn’t work. (“What about emergencies? What about last minute things for the kids? What about … impulse buys??”) But I was so sick of financial ambiguity and sloppy spending that I did it anyway. And I was amazed.
I trust that what you've read so far has been informative. The following section should go a long way toward clearing up any uncertainty that may remain.
The physical act of paying cash really does govern what you spend. When you have to pay $120 for groceries, you start thinking about whether you really need that extra large bag of premium potato chips, or the case of designer water. When you have to pay cash for the dentist (two fillings: $220) it occurs to you that you can actually shop for a dentist. Paying cash has a wonderful way of keeping you honest. And it makes you super conscious of details which previously might have left you cold. Last month I found myself not buying things which in the past had been bought without a second thought. This was power saving!
Paying cash is a great way to save money, which helps you meet financial goals like paying down a big credit card balance, or establishing a six month emergency savings fund to help you leave your non-dream day job. (Both steps I recommend taking in my new book, Living Your Joy.) At month’s end I feel empowered, and gung-ho for another month of cash only adventures. One final note: my 9 and 13 year old children who’ve traditionally hit me for snacks, toys, and endless pairs of skin tight jeans (yes, I am the ‘soft’ parent) have stopped expecting handouts. And I’m proud to say, they’ve started working on their own ways to earn and save money. So there is a marvelous trickle down effect.
All this financial freedom takes is some commitment on your part, and the willingness to try doing things differently as an experiment, or even a game. Try it, and you may find your dream gets funded a lot more quickly and easily.
PS. Don’t forget: unless you finance your dream adequately, you can’t reach the people you’re here to reach. That’s the power of your financial decisions.
Is there really any information about cut expenses that is nonessential? We all see things from different angles, so something relatively insignificant to one may be crucial to another.
One of the biggest challenges creative dreamers face when it’s time to make their dream their livelihood is regulating cash flow. Typically we have lots of new business expenses, without enough income to meet them. One easy solution is to spend less something many of us in the US, at least, find hard to do. And yet, it must be done. If that’s you, read on; I think I’ve stumbled upon a great solution.
Recently, I decided to tighten my belt and start spending carefully for a change. Which for a relaxed, what the heck spender like myself was the equivalent to going into the desert for 40 days and 40 nights. In the past, such measures always dissolved in a puddle of good intentions. Even though I knew this was important and good to do… I just couldn’t stick with the program. But this time, I’ve found a trick that works.
The first month, I simply tracked my expenses on two file cards in my wallet (one for business, one for personal.) Then last month, I paid my regular bills by check as usual. I also determined just how much cash I needed to live on each week, based on my previous tracking, and withdrew such from the bank on an appointed, regular day: Wednesday. I also parked my credit card and my debit card in my desk drawer, so they’d be out of circulation. Then I carefully monitored as I spent.
As the month wore on, the cash ebbed and flowed. Some weeks I spent less than my weekly sum; some weeks I spent more. And now, at month’s end, I found I actually kept to my budget quite well – and can donate the rest towards savings and my business. The reason this works, I think, is because parking the plastic and paying cash is radical. Initially, I was pretty sure it wouldn’t work. (“What about emergencies? What about last minute things for the kids? What about … impulse buys??”) But I was so sick of financial ambiguity and sloppy spending that I did it anyway. And I was amazed.
I trust that what you've read so far has been informative. The following section should go a long way toward clearing up any uncertainty that may remain.
The physical act of paying cash really does govern what you spend. When you have to pay $120 for groceries, you start thinking about whether you really need that extra large bag of premium potato chips, or the case of designer water. When you have to pay cash for the dentist (two fillings: $220) it occurs to you that you can actually shop for a dentist. Paying cash has a wonderful way of keeping you honest. And it makes you super conscious of details which previously might have left you cold. Last month I found myself not buying things which in the past had been bought without a second thought. This was power saving!
Paying cash is a great way to save money, which helps you meet financial goals like paying down a big credit card balance, or establishing a six month emergency savings fund to help you leave your non-dream day job. (Both steps I recommend taking in my new book, Living Your Joy.) At month’s end I feel empowered, and gung-ho for another month of cash only adventures. One final note: my 9 and 13 year old children who’ve traditionally hit me for snacks, toys, and endless pairs of skin tight jeans (yes, I am the ‘soft’ parent) have stopped expecting handouts. And I’m proud to say, they’ve started working on their own ways to earn and save money. So there is a marvelous trickle down effect.
All this financial freedom takes is some commitment on your part, and the willingness to try doing things differently as an experiment, or even a game. Try it, and you may find your dream gets funded a lot more quickly and easily.
PS. Don’t forget: unless you finance your dream adequately, you can’t reach the people you’re here to reach. That’s the power of your financial decisions.
Is there really any information about cut expenses that is nonessential? We all see things from different angles, so something relatively insignificant to one may be crucial to another.
TRY THIS: HANDS-ON EFT
Want to experience the power of the emotional freedom techniques for
yourself? A fellow named Gary Craig, who put this technology together, has an
excellent, resource-crammed site, with lots of free articles and reasonably-priced
trainings, videos, etc.
http://www.emofree.com/
There is an even more concise, easy to work with technique, which is
similar to EFT, called BSFF (Be Set Free Fast) at Joan Sotkin’s Prosperity Place
website. I’ve tried both, and I like this one just a little bit better. Joan’s website
also has a free sample to try from her home page at
http://www.prosperityplace.com
yourself? A fellow named Gary Craig, who put this technology together, has an
excellent, resource-crammed site, with lots of free articles and reasonably-priced
trainings, videos, etc.
http://www.emofree.com/
There is an even more concise, easy to work with technique, which is
similar to EFT, called BSFF (Be Set Free Fast) at Joan Sotkin’s Prosperity Place
website. I’ve tried both, and I like this one just a little bit better. Joan’s website
also has a free sample to try from her home page at
http://www.prosperityplace.com
Thursday, November 22, 2007
How to Manage Rejection
Do you ever feel like you know just enough about manage rejection to be dangerous? Let's see if we can fill in some of the gaps with the latest info from manage rejection experts.
I stumble upon this interesting article by Suzanne Falter-Barns. And it goes like this.....
Every summer I indulge a particular passion of mine: appearing in a musical with our local community theater group. There is an entire pack of us women over-forty-who-must-act (we call ourselves the ‘elder-babes’,) and these shows are one of the high points of our year. This season’s production is going to be no exception: we are doing “Chicago”.
Now let me just say … I’m no dancer. Despite years of dance training in my youth, I tend to get up there and go left when everyone else is going right. No problem, I naively figured. I’d been taking jazz dance classes for an entire year, so how tough was this going to be? I blithely pulled on the fishnets and trotted off to the dance auditions.
Four hours later, I crawled home, assuming the worst. The routines had gone on for hours, every one of them mind numbingly complex. Somehow, an entire legion of great dancers materialized out of nowhere, and whipped through each combination flawlessly. Meanwhile, I hid at the back behind my friend Leslie, a former Broadway hoofer, and tried feebly to follow along.
Call backs were the following weekend, and the ensuing week was pure, unadulterated hell. I violated every last rule I’ve spent all these years preaching about: I assumed I wouldn’t be cast and whined ceaselessly to my husband about it. Then I angrily decided I would rise up and quit the audition process then and there. (After all, if I couldn’t dance, what use could I possibly be to this @*%&$(%! show?) Eventually, I calmed down a bit, but only because my thirteen years old daughter told me to get a grip.
The information about manage rejection presented here will do one of two things: either it will reinforce what you know about manage rejection or it will teach you something new. Both are good outcomes.
I was, in fact, wrestling in the trenches with that old, familiar beast, Rejection. And at this point, Rejection was definitely winning. Its dark little mutterings were on pretty much 24/7, and it did its best to whip me down to the emotional size I was back at about … oh, maybe age twelve. I was called back for one of the few non-dance roles in the show, and found myself fumbling through these auditions, too. I couldn’t hit the very low notes the song required; my acting seemed lifeless and forced to me. I went home with tears in my eyes, convinced that this would be the first summer I wouldn’t make it on stage.
The Rejection demons really moved in for the kill at that point. For the next two days, I dissolved into tears at the drop of the hat. I kept imagining all the great times the cast would be having without me. I buried myself deeper and deeper in self-pity. It was as if I couldn’t turn off the ceaseless drone of my damning mind, no matter what I did. Finally, in a single moment of clarity, I turned to self help.
I did the emotional freedom technique, which combines eye movements, and tapping on certain key meridian points in the body with affirming thoughts and sentences. I’d known of the technique, but had never done it before; still the time for it was obviously right. As I did the EFT process, I felt a curious calm descend over me. “This is … weird,” I told myself as I tapped below my eye, and on my chin. How could a little tapping undo an entire lifetime of vulnerability, humiliation, shame, and deep inner torment!?
When I completed the entire process twice, I became aware that I was suddenly ‘okay’ with the entire audition situation. It just plain seemed okay if I didn’t get cast. I started thinking about selling tickets each night with Bonnie, our fun ticket chair, or maybe just sitting in the audience for a change. I started imagining a summer where I had plenty of time to laze around with the kids, or go on long boat rides with my husband. I started remembering how relaxed summer could actually be.
When I woke up the next day, the mood miraculously continued. Now it occurred to me that there might actually be some small non-dance roles in the show that I could take. And that I could do this and STILL have a relaxing, nurturing summer AND even be in the show with the other elder-babes. It struck me that I didn’t have to be the star to have a valid experience with my beloved theater family. All I had to be was there, one way or another. Like all stories of inner torment, this one had its lessons, too. I got to get over myself with EFT, which is now my new favorite tool for such. And I got to remember why I really love my little theater company not because of the big moments in front of the audience (though those aren’t bad either), but because of the whole theater company experience.
By the way, I just found out I did get a part … in the dance corps! Not only must the Gods be crazy, they clearly have a sense of humor, too.
Hopefully the sections above have contributed to your understanding of manage rejection. Share your new understanding about manage rejection with others. They'll thank you for it.
I stumble upon this interesting article by Suzanne Falter-Barns. And it goes like this.....
Every summer I indulge a particular passion of mine: appearing in a musical with our local community theater group. There is an entire pack of us women over-forty-who-must-act (we call ourselves the ‘elder-babes’,) and these shows are one of the high points of our year. This season’s production is going to be no exception: we are doing “Chicago”.
Now let me just say … I’m no dancer. Despite years of dance training in my youth, I tend to get up there and go left when everyone else is going right. No problem, I naively figured. I’d been taking jazz dance classes for an entire year, so how tough was this going to be? I blithely pulled on the fishnets and trotted off to the dance auditions.
Four hours later, I crawled home, assuming the worst. The routines had gone on for hours, every one of them mind numbingly complex. Somehow, an entire legion of great dancers materialized out of nowhere, and whipped through each combination flawlessly. Meanwhile, I hid at the back behind my friend Leslie, a former Broadway hoofer, and tried feebly to follow along.
Call backs were the following weekend, and the ensuing week was pure, unadulterated hell. I violated every last rule I’ve spent all these years preaching about: I assumed I wouldn’t be cast and whined ceaselessly to my husband about it. Then I angrily decided I would rise up and quit the audition process then and there. (After all, if I couldn’t dance, what use could I possibly be to this @*%&$(%! show?) Eventually, I calmed down a bit, but only because my thirteen years old daughter told me to get a grip.
The information about manage rejection presented here will do one of two things: either it will reinforce what you know about manage rejection or it will teach you something new. Both are good outcomes.
I was, in fact, wrestling in the trenches with that old, familiar beast, Rejection. And at this point, Rejection was definitely winning. Its dark little mutterings were on pretty much 24/7, and it did its best to whip me down to the emotional size I was back at about … oh, maybe age twelve. I was called back for one of the few non-dance roles in the show, and found myself fumbling through these auditions, too. I couldn’t hit the very low notes the song required; my acting seemed lifeless and forced to me. I went home with tears in my eyes, convinced that this would be the first summer I wouldn’t make it on stage.
The Rejection demons really moved in for the kill at that point. For the next two days, I dissolved into tears at the drop of the hat. I kept imagining all the great times the cast would be having without me. I buried myself deeper and deeper in self-pity. It was as if I couldn’t turn off the ceaseless drone of my damning mind, no matter what I did. Finally, in a single moment of clarity, I turned to self help.
I did the emotional freedom technique, which combines eye movements, and tapping on certain key meridian points in the body with affirming thoughts and sentences. I’d known of the technique, but had never done it before; still the time for it was obviously right. As I did the EFT process, I felt a curious calm descend over me. “This is … weird,” I told myself as I tapped below my eye, and on my chin. How could a little tapping undo an entire lifetime of vulnerability, humiliation, shame, and deep inner torment!?
When I completed the entire process twice, I became aware that I was suddenly ‘okay’ with the entire audition situation. It just plain seemed okay if I didn’t get cast. I started thinking about selling tickets each night with Bonnie, our fun ticket chair, or maybe just sitting in the audience for a change. I started imagining a summer where I had plenty of time to laze around with the kids, or go on long boat rides with my husband. I started remembering how relaxed summer could actually be.
When I woke up the next day, the mood miraculously continued. Now it occurred to me that there might actually be some small non-dance roles in the show that I could take. And that I could do this and STILL have a relaxing, nurturing summer AND even be in the show with the other elder-babes. It struck me that I didn’t have to be the star to have a valid experience with my beloved theater family. All I had to be was there, one way or another. Like all stories of inner torment, this one had its lessons, too. I got to get over myself with EFT, which is now my new favorite tool for such. And I got to remember why I really love my little theater company not because of the big moments in front of the audience (though those aren’t bad either), but because of the whole theater company experience.
By the way, I just found out I did get a part … in the dance corps! Not only must the Gods be crazy, they clearly have a sense of humor, too.
Hopefully the sections above have contributed to your understanding of manage rejection. Share your new understanding about manage rejection with others. They'll thank you for it.
Dream Pursuit
Would you like to find out what those-in-the-know have to say about dream pursuit? The information in the article below comes straight from well-informed experts with special knowledge about dream pursuit.
You must grow into your dream. Believe it or not, just because you have the dream and are busily pursuing it, doesn’t mean you’re capable of living it yet. That only happens when you’ve become comfy enough with your personal power to fully inhabit your dream, and do what it requires. The sometimes slow process of fulfilling your dream actually trains you to do hard things, like handle rejection, take risks, become more intimate with others, and use your full creative powers. Meanwhile, the Universe will kindly protect you from receiving all that good stuff until you are ready.
Stop being patient and have fun, instead. This is the only real reason there is to pursue your dream. Because the work feels guided, somehow, and personally validating; because it feels as if this is what you were born to do. And so, such work becomes one of the most fun and compelling things in your life. Concentrate on doing what your gut tells you to do, and dig into the process with relish. That takes your mind off the calendar, and then your
work no longer feels so pressured.
Drop your expectations. Life is only really fulfilling when we let it surprise us. And dreams can do so wonderfully well. Yet, in order to be surprised, you have to let go of the clenched urge to know just how things are going to turn out. You have to give up control; you cannot, nor will you ever, be able to predict results. Heavy expectations usually leave you disappointed, not to
mention creatively constipated.
Keep the faith … and stay open. And yet … sometimes bad results happen. Still, those can take you in unexpected directions that yield even greater rewards. Remember the story of Michelangelo’s first job as an architect, on the façade of San Lorenzo (he got fired!) This brief setback actually led him to an entirely new career designing St. Peter’s in Rome, and the Medici chapel, two of the greatest artistic achievements of that period.
Don’t treat your emotions as facts. On a cold day in February five years ago, I lay on my bed, sobbing, convinced I would never publish my self-help book, reach my readers, or find my way out of an ill-suited temp job that I hated. I soggily asked my husband if I should just chuck it all, and go back to work doing this very thing I hated fulltime. Fortunately for me, he told me to stop being hysterical and keep plugging away on my dream. Five years later, I really am living my dream full time, simply because I didn’t treat my momentary upset as factual proof that my dream was kaput. Remember – emotions are emotions; only facts are facts.
Don’t compare your progress with anyone else’s. Your dream is not a test of your self-worth. Instead, it is the playground of your soul, as well as your spiritual mission in life. So treat it as such, and stop playing the big shame tape every time someone else you know accomplishes more than you do. In fact, another person’s achievements have nothing to do with your path, your dream, and your karmic lessons in life. Assuming that they mean anything is simply a trick of your mind. So stop comparing, and get back to work.
Remember how little you know. I contend that our dreams are here for us to seize in small, digestible chunks. If we could really see the larger picture, and know where we’d be in five, ten or twenty years, we’d become overwhelmed instantly. So take what information you do get, and humbly stay your course. Just because it seems like nothing’s ever going to happen DOES NOT MEAN that nothing ever will. It just means that today, that’s how things look.
In other words, remember … you haven’t got a clue how this dream thing will turn out, and you can take all kinds of comfort in that, especially if you’re busy having fun!
You must grow into your dream. Believe it or not, just because you have the dream and are busily pursuing it, doesn’t mean you’re capable of living it yet. That only happens when you’ve become comfy enough with your personal power to fully inhabit your dream, and do what it requires. The sometimes slow process of fulfilling your dream actually trains you to do hard things, like handle rejection, take risks, become more intimate with others, and use your full creative powers. Meanwhile, the Universe will kindly protect you from receiving all that good stuff until you are ready.
Stop being patient and have fun, instead. This is the only real reason there is to pursue your dream. Because the work feels guided, somehow, and personally validating; because it feels as if this is what you were born to do. And so, such work becomes one of the most fun and compelling things in your life. Concentrate on doing what your gut tells you to do, and dig into the process with relish. That takes your mind off the calendar, and then your
work no longer feels so pressured.
Drop your expectations. Life is only really fulfilling when we let it surprise us. And dreams can do so wonderfully well. Yet, in order to be surprised, you have to let go of the clenched urge to know just how things are going to turn out. You have to give up control; you cannot, nor will you ever, be able to predict results. Heavy expectations usually leave you disappointed, not to
mention creatively constipated.
Keep the faith … and stay open. And yet … sometimes bad results happen. Still, those can take you in unexpected directions that yield even greater rewards. Remember the story of Michelangelo’s first job as an architect, on the façade of San Lorenzo (he got fired!) This brief setback actually led him to an entirely new career designing St. Peter’s in Rome, and the Medici chapel, two of the greatest artistic achievements of that period.
Don’t treat your emotions as facts. On a cold day in February five years ago, I lay on my bed, sobbing, convinced I would never publish my self-help book, reach my readers, or find my way out of an ill-suited temp job that I hated. I soggily asked my husband if I should just chuck it all, and go back to work doing this very thing I hated fulltime. Fortunately for me, he told me to stop being hysterical and keep plugging away on my dream. Five years later, I really am living my dream full time, simply because I didn’t treat my momentary upset as factual proof that my dream was kaput. Remember – emotions are emotions; only facts are facts.
Don’t compare your progress with anyone else’s. Your dream is not a test of your self-worth. Instead, it is the playground of your soul, as well as your spiritual mission in life. So treat it as such, and stop playing the big shame tape every time someone else you know accomplishes more than you do. In fact, another person’s achievements have nothing to do with your path, your dream, and your karmic lessons in life. Assuming that they mean anything is simply a trick of your mind. So stop comparing, and get back to work.
Remember how little you know. I contend that our dreams are here for us to seize in small, digestible chunks. If we could really see the larger picture, and know where we’d be in five, ten or twenty years, we’d become overwhelmed instantly. So take what information you do get, and humbly stay your course. Just because it seems like nothing’s ever going to happen DOES NOT MEAN that nothing ever will. It just means that today, that’s how things look.
In other words, remember … you haven’t got a clue how this dream thing will turn out, and you can take all kinds of comfort in that, especially if you’re busy having fun!
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
How and Why to Be Patient.
The only way to keep up with the latest about be patient. is to constantly stay on the lookout for new information. If you read everything you find about be patient., it won't take long for you to become an influential authority.
Today’s essay is all about waiting patiently. Before you roll your eyes, stifle a yawn, and keep on scrolling, hear me out … for there really is a marvelous benefit to all that patience.
Namely, you get to live your dream. We all know that dreams take time to develop and fulfill. You may find yourself waiting for years for something that may or may not ever even happen.
That’s just the way it is when it comes to dream pursuit … and it isn’t always easy.
Perhaps you recently flung yourself down on your bed, sobbing, because the fortieth rejection of your novel arrived. Or you might have decided to live on your credit card for six months while you try to get a break as an actor, and now creditors are calling. You could even be the person who just can’t stay awake long enough at night to get your new business plan written … so you’re convinced your dream just plain won’t ever happen.
Yet, I am here to say it will. AS LONG AS you are supremely patient, and remember these few basic truths about successful dream pursuit.
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